Current Terror Alert:

terror alert banana

My Many Flavored Cuts:

  • Insomniactive Productions
  • MySpace
  • The Exhibit(s)
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My fellow sides of beef:

  • Bitter Old Punk - Slinging the liquor to all who will tip, and even some who won't, because corporate policy demands it.
  • Boobs, Injuries, and Dr. Pepper - Southern Haha. Oh, like it matters. Look -- boobs!
  • Cadet Spiff's Deep Space Log - Richard, you ignorant slut. You know how I know you're a nerd?...
  • Clublife - I sometimes work as a bouncer. I'll bet this guy could kick my ass, too.
  • Defective Yeti - Seattle's not such a bad place after all. Maybe the rain makes you funny.
  • Devin Townsend - Go. Listen. Learn to love. Stop asking so many damned questions.
  • Dooce - The fairy godmother of the blog world.
  • Falling Sky - It's Jon, my favorite British person. There's real flavor here.
  • Jason Mulgrew - It never fails: I'm having a bipolar day, and someone bipolar makes me laugh. Fucker.
  • Monalicious - Boston will never seem cold to me as long as this woman's there.
  • Pretty Helmet - Elizabeth in the Ham
  • Something Positive - One of the best cartoons ever. Funny, mean, and touching, usually within a single word.
  • The Broken English - Highly recommended in the fight against chlamydia. Not for children over three foot eight, or lactating women.
  • The Sneeze - Home of 'Steve, Don't Eat It!' Enough said.
  • Wade on Birmingham - Someday, Wade will be under Birmingham. Or over it.
  • Wade un Birmingham - Non-Birmingham, presumably non-American Idol, non-boring, non-badly written
  • Waiting with Bated Breath - Not just for kids, Trix tastes great and is less filling.
  • Warren Ellis - Writer of stuff. Crotchety. Smokes a lot, so we like him.

TODAY'S DEEP THOUGHT:

At first I thought, if I were Superman, a perfect secret identity would be 'Clark Kent, dentist,' because you could save money on tooth x-rays. but then I thought, if a patient said, 'How's my back tooth?' and you just looked at it with your x-ray vision and said, 'Oh it's okay,' then the patient would probably say, 'Aren't you going to take an x-ray, stupid?' And you'd say, 'aw, get outta here,' and then he probably wouldn't even pay his bill.


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Arrival

22 February 2005 | This is Uncategorized

Hey hey hey cool kids and everyone else…. My yet-to-see-print review of Strapping Young Lad’s ALIEN is popping up all over the net, most notably as the first and only review of the disc on the official Strapping website (www.strappingyounglad.com). For those who give a damn, here it is, a full month before you can read it in glorious monotone:

The scariest brutality is that filled with passion, with intensity, adrenaline released with a smile. The angry outlash is one thing, but in a world of car bombs and xenophobic foreign policies and Amber Alerts, anger is the new meme, a joke told so often that the laughter is nothing more than knee-jerk reaction. ALIEN is not the rebellious young man seeking attention or euphoric release, but the laughing man with the baseball bat singing songs that might well signal the end of the world.

In many ways, this is the Strapping Young Lad that fans have grown to love. Press releases trumpet the coming of �City�, part II, and there is comforting familiarity in the haunting harmonies, the cinematic structures, the towering layers of sonic assault. Certainly, frontman Devin Townsend is at his peak, blanketing pounding rhythms and crumbling walls of guitar rumble with a unique melodic sensibility and poetic lyrical approach.

Gone, though, is the adolescent undercurrent of anger and voracious hate; this is radio music filtered through fingers that know better and shaped by one of the founders of the new wave of metal. Townsend, as usual, defies categorization, across tracks and within, venturing from thrash to pop to acoustic ballad, never pausing, breathless walk across the mindset of Armageddon. ALIEN signals the beginning and the end of extreme music, challenging the listener to let go and feel the joy of unhindered release.

I’m particularly proud of this one — an inspired bit. If only more music came along that brought out this kind of writing from me.


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